Sunday, February 26, 2006

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

What a load of crap...

Monday, February 20, 2006

Standing Water and Electricity

No need to worry about the standing water that I discovered in my kitchen this morning becuase I also had no electricity ridding myself of any fire hazard.
So the strange part of the water issue... The water was not there last night... the water was not only on the floors, but also on the counter... the ceiling and walls were both dry... so where (you may be asking yourself) did the water come from?
Who the hell knows? The apartment complex didn't answer the phone this morning when I called, so I left a message with the answering service. The apartment never called me back so I tried calling again around 11:30am... no answer. Seriously... why is my rent so high? They apparently don't have any staff to pay...
So now two messages later and the knowledge that I have no power and some sort of mystery water on my floor and counter... I am actually on the edge of severe frustration trying to keep the whole thing in persepective...

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Blog About Nothing

You Are From Saturn
You're steady, organizes, and determined to achieve your dreams.You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones).You'll likely reach the top. And when you do, you'll be honorable and responsible.Focus on happiness. Don't let your goals distract you from fun!Don't be too set in your ways, and you'll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of." a >What<>Planet Are You From?

So for starters, apparently I am from Saturn. You've read what that means. Exactly as we all suspected, I'm organized and no fun. However, this raises an interesting question since men are from Mars and women are from Venus... which rhymes with penis, so what were women thinking anyway. What does that make me. Not a woman in the stereotypical way, putting fashion and relationships on the front burner. Sadly, I seem to do quite the opposite. While I do care about how I look, I really ought to care more. I need to put on make-up, walk with my shoulders back and my chin up, get a more up to date haircut, and wear clothes that might actually make men look twice instead of politely commenting on the various pieces of my wardrobe before moving on to something hotter, sexier, and better dressed. And relationships... perhaps I need to read a book or something. Dr. Phil wants to help me... the all smiles fellow from eHarmony has offered his support... so why don't I take them up on this great advice they are so generously peddling? Because I like to build walls. Walls that people can't see. I make people laugh so that they will see me as open when I'm not. Walls are safe. Walls are comforting. Walls are lonely. I knocked a few bricks out of my wall and put my hand through... I touched someone else on the outside. I whispered a secret through the wall and felt more alone than I had before. So slowly I will pull my hand back in, replace the bricks, and carry on pretending I never ventured beyond my walls... and I will make people laugh... I will be the fun girl... I will sing off key and dance in my ever so white way...

Friday, February 10, 2006

Could use a steroid boost...

No, I'm not dying or pumping up for the next swim match up with the German women, but I could use some bolstering. Last night I woke up twice because I couldn't breathe. Had there been an attractive man sitting on me... great... glad for the wake-up call... As it was, I was alone the room temperature had just caused my chest to tighten up. Oof. So this morning, armed with my four hours of decent sleep, I have set out to conquer this little issue and cough up whatever unpleasantness is causing my troubles.

On a side note... my coworkers are (I am certain) enjoying my disgusting hacking... How do I know that they are enjoying it you may ask... Because there has not only been no talk of my going home early, but rather the reminder that they need me to stay late.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

This One Isn't Funny

Most of the time I venture into my blog to tell a story that is amusing on some level. I pride myself in having the ability to make nearly every story in life seem like it was a great time, even if it wasn't entirely... Tonight I am too tired for that. I've worked more in the last two weeks than the average person works in a month. I have moved things in such an intense direction because I feel as though I have to squeeze meaningful conversation into a five minute time slot and a relationship into a one-inch binder that I can pull off the shelf at my convenience. The only problem is that I get the feeling that those around me are doing the same thing. As more people condense me into a few funny stories, flashes of memory and the occassional pulling off the shelf, I realize that I need people in my life that have dimension and people who want that out of me. I need people who will sit with me and play cards, talk about faith, discuss the problems with mass marketing, enjoy the beauty of science, laugh so hard they cry, and cry so hard they laugh. I need people who will call me to go to the zoo, drink a beer in my name when I have to work late, understand that sometimes I'm not feeling all that clever, play original Nintendo, and eat takeout. I need people who know me. Not just the silly girl who works more than she does anything else... but the me that used to feel smart and attractive and wanted.

I guess I am saying I need friends... not myspace "friends" or club aquaintences... but the friends that will dislike someone just because you do and love someone for the same reason...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Back from Whataburger...

Again bulleted for the ease of the viewership… and due to my already fading memory of the evening… and again… it was like French soaps, so I was confused… often…

-At this point the body guard, sequin top, 2-fister, wig, the media man, Paul, Paco, Hilda, and the ref are all in or around the condo… I am possibly forgetting someone, but the major players at this point are Paul, Paco, Hilda, and the ref.

-I assume that Hilda is gone since I don’t see her, but alas she has shut herself up in Paul’s room… How many times do I need to tell her to back off…

-The ref offers to get her out of Paul’s room. Great strides were made in ridding her of his room, but not the condo, as she bolted into the bathroom.

-Paco has disappeared somewhere to eat his burger… presumably he was naked eating in the hot tub… at least that is where I would have gone.

-I can only assume that this is the point in the night when the alcohol in my system caught up with me because I remember bits and pieces of conversation... “I’ve been assaulted…” “I’m calling the cops.” “Give me $300 dollars and you’ll never see me again.” “She said she wouldn’t get in a cab.” “Did she say $3 million?” And then suddenly she was outside, the door was locked… and then she was gone.

At this juncture the only progress towards a remedy to the situation had been made by the ref... sadly, this came nowhere close to a solution. I thought about taking Hilda home myself, but didn't trust her not to accuse me of doing something to her. I thought about going to bed, but 2-fister was asleep in a rolling desk chair... because we all know how comfortable that had to have been... and to e honest, I didn't want to leave Paul open and available for the other girls around...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Monday, February 06, 2006

Saturday night continued...

Okay... so I head back into the bar with a renewed sense of purpose and the will to conquer the other girl and break her spirit... umm... so not really all that dramatic, but I did assure myself that she wouldn't be touching him anywhere below the belt again.

So a brief synopsis of Paul at the bar and and how amazing he is... bulleted for your ease...

-So much fun to dance with... not a dry humper which is actually a common problem among dancing men... but sexual enough that you consider the possibility of taking him home...

-Doesn't ignore his friends and makes everyone feel important while still making me feel like I might just be slightly more important in the whole scheme of things...

- Not sloppy drunk (AKA Candied)...

- Danced with me outside for some smoke free time... seems minor, but it made my night... incredibly sweet on so many levels... greatly increased his score in the Lacey Date-With-Ease Point System...

- (Now here's where things go a little more than slightly amuck) Maintained a polite demeanor with other girl despite her continued decline on the drunk scale and her blantant attempts to thwart my plans...

-Did I mention that this Paul fellow is totally hot with the most amazing smile? Not to mention that he has great fashion sense without crossing the line to metro... it's a fine line that we should all stay on the right side of...

- Lastly, those little things that guys say sometimes and they don't think much of having said it, but it so makes you giddy... "I'm glad you came tonight..." Hehe... I'm a simple girl, so that's really all it takes.

Okay, so onto crazy time...

Other girl, who will hence forth be known as Hilda (because I don't know any Hildas, thus decreasing my chances of offending anyone with choice of names... selected as always to protect the innocent... or those who end up in jail... whatever, I'm equal opportunity protection), comes out of nowhere crying. I think she is asking Paul to take her to the bathroom... Umm... Hell no. I think we all know why someone asks a person of the opposite sex to go to the bathroom with them at the bar... unless it's my friend Seth and I and then it's only because 6th street has its moments of creepy late at night.

So, thwarting her plan to thwart my plan... I offer to take her to the restroom... and besides girls do sorta have that unwritten restroom rule and who am I to break years of tradition? So there she sits on the toilet, rambling on about her past heartbreaks and traumas with no pants on while I try to remember what her name so I can offer a simple, "it's okay, Hilda... guys are always lame like that..." Don't stress guys, that's another unwritten rule.. you have to agree that guys always suck even though they don't...

So many of the details of the bathroom confab will be omitted simply due to the unknown readership and the possibility of striking far too many nerves... but here's the kicker...

Hilda: "So you and Paul..."

Me: "So... me and Paul?"

Hilda: "Are you here with him?"

Me: "No, I'm here with you... he's out there dancing.."
(It's easy to be a smart ass when the other person is candied.)

Hilda: "I'm in love with Paul."

Me: ......... (Smart ass or no... what was I supposed to say to that?)

Brief break in the story... I frickin' love Jason Mraz... Makes me want to do a little dance in my cube.

I feel the need to fast forward to time to leave as there are moments of shots and drinks and dancing and random guys (including some cute fellow who said he liked girls in glasses... little did he know my self esteem is high enough that such a blatant reference to something not entirely thought attractive by society was quickly deflected as pure fodder.)

So we head out... as we stand outside, Hilda states that she has forgotten her jacket and asks Paul to come with her to get it... again, seriously, Hilda... So I offer to go at which point she decides that her jacket "only cost $13" so she could leave it. Well, I take her to find it amid more tears though it appears that her $13 jacket (if it ever truly existed) is gone. So back outside we go. As we split into vehicles, everyone seems to avoid the basic problem, who will take Hilda.

Well, I figure I've seen her sans pants, so surely I could stand her being in my car, besides her IQ is almost genious level (she told the engineer and the former women in engineering scholar) so it was bound to be a fabulous ride full of intelligent conversation and mind stretching introspection with the refelction of other well toned intellectuals...

Does intelligent conversation usually include another slurred candied... "Paulll, you know I think you are cute and... well... I should just leave it at that..." "Great," I think... "she should have left it at the bar in the bottle and maintained some sort of composure..." Even the 2 fistin', pass out in a computer chair, 0.02 at noon the next day guy maintained an adult level of behavior...

Now, not knowing Hilda from Eve... I have no warning for what comes next... In fact the whole scenario seemed to play out in slow motion as I realized she was misplacing her affection on Paul, when it is (according to Hilda)...


... Paco who is the father of her baby to be... (insert 1950's horror flick screams and you will approach the level of drama we were falling into)
Yes, at sequin top's acceptance of Paco's invitation to crash at Paul and Paco's place, Hilda shreeked, "YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS HOLE!" She followed this little gem with the idea that she (who had drowned her newly created baby in a pool of poorly selected adult beverages... I mean can they swim 6 days after conception?) was in fact pregnant with Paco's love child from the weekend before...

A quick message from Diana Ross:

You think that I don't feel love
What I feel for you is real love
In other's eyes I see reflected
A hurt, scorned, rejected
Love child
Never meant to be
Love ChildBorn in poverty
Love Child
Never meant to be
Love Child
Take a look at me

Thanks Diana... now back to the story... Drama escalates and the only logical solution for Paco is Whataburger. I can't argue with this logic... even as a vegetarian, Whataburger seems to offer refuge and hope for a brighter tomorrow... so into the SUV I go and it's off to Whataburger.
Now there are two flaws in the Whataburger refuge plan...

1. The two people who actually live at the condo (Paco and Paul) were in the SUV on the way to Whataurger leaving crazy pants Hilda back at their place with some other folks.

2. We were missing great material for my blog by skipping out when Hilda decided to call her dad who apparently hung up on her... Crap.

Upon arrival back from Whataburger things just all crammed together... things were happening at such a rate that it became hard to keep up with all the drama. I can only assume it would be like watching Days of Our Lives and General Hospital at the same time using picture in picture... in French.

Paul and Paco: A Night in Review

We begin with an internal dialogue circa Saturday afternoon...

"Hmmm... I really like him... there is no way that he actually likes me... seriously, that would be far too good for the sub par week that I am having. He did ask me to go out tonight... with like a million other people so that doesn't mean anything. I should just text him and let him know I am busy... he won't care... okay... text."

I couldn't bring myself to send the text. Let's get real. I like someone and I had two choices... sit at home and sulk in safety without the possibility of rejection, or throw it out there and cross my fingers. Well, I do like to entertain all those who find my romantic interludes and the failures thereof humorous, so...

I left after work and headed to Suede. Walking in I questioned the top I had chosen while standing in the bathroom at the office half and hour earlier. I worried that I wouldn't be able to find anyone I knew. I thought about the fact that most of the group had been together and presumably drinking four hours prior to my arrival. Big deep breath Lacey... there he is... dancing with another girl. I am fairly certain she is touching his crotch when I spot them... and yes, there is the latest in my sub par week.

Was I deterred? No. Being slightly more than competitive, my new mission was to make other girl a complete nonissue. Plan... not sure... time to create a plan... no...

Alas, a positive break. I met Paco. Sitting outside with Paco, he assured me that other girl was not a threat. Paco said great things about Paul. Paco, being a great friend, reiterated the things I already found attractive about Paul and said new things that made me smile inside. While I may never know whether Paco was telling the truth, he deserves the friend of the night award either way. I headed back into the bar.

To be continued...

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Have you ever...

... met someone who just felt right? You know... your hands fit together and they seem to see you beyond the person you generally pretend to be...

Saturday, February 04, 2006

My Life...

... reads like a poorly written romance novel.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Friday morning...

Current mood: uncomfortable

Let's talk about the awkward conversation i had this morning at the Chamber... but first a little background story.

I went out for a drink with a guy who lives with his parents. So at the end of the evening... where to do we go? His parents house. Okay, now the awkward part.

This morning I am standing talking to a nice fellow. He is asking if he can call me sometime. I am thinking... "you're alright... perhaps." I flip my hair, smile, and say, "sure." At this point I realize that someone is standing at my side, presumably waiting to talk to me. As I turn, I see the aforementioned guy's dad. Great. Now I feel a wee bit trashy.
So I am thinking about the fact that said guy has not even called me since Tuesday, so his loss if someone else wants to call. I am thinking, what a waste of energy he was. Running through my mind are the little pangs of yet another failed stab at having a social life... and then... the conversation gets worse.

"Did you guys have fun the other night?"

"Sure! It was great!"

"Just making sure my son didn't do anything to embarass himself."

"No, things were pretty low key... I'm too old for that much fun."

"When he got home my wife heard him come in and she was going to get up and see if he enjoyed the networking and going out with you, but then she heard another voice. We realized you were with him so I made her stay in the bedroom. She decided to just ask him about it the next morning."

"Haha... (uncomfortable pause)... hahummm... yep, I stopped by."

Well, I am sure you can see how I was bothered... it was like high school... the parent said all that but meant... "we know you came into our home and kissed our son... you dirty dirty hooker."

I am shamed. Shame. Shame. Shame.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Guys, the Opera, and Other Randomness

The thoughts that travel through ones head given extra time in the car, a long night at the opera, and the ingestion of Chinese food from the fridge that probably should have gone in the trash over a week ago... bullet pointed for your reading ease...

-Went to the opera without a watch. Used the guy's next to me. He didn't know.

-Figured it was okay that I was staring at his watch since he was touching me... you know... accidentally on purpose. Guys, girls know when you are doing that.

-Character from opera had low self-esteem. Some guy overthrew her brother as king, tried to marry her sister-in-law when he was engaged to her first, tried to kill her brother, then told her he loved her at the end and magically... they were in love.

-Character from opera clearly illustrates a woman's need to feel loved.

-Character from opera made me feel frustrated for thinking about someone most of the day... waste of a day I suspect.

-Although not entirely a waste, as thinking about a great kiss helps pass the time.

-I need to start wearing a watch.

-I had forgotten how great live orchestra sounded. I've always loved going.

-In recent years, it's a great way for a guy to ensure a second night and later evening with me... symphony... or even a nice cd.

-We have games Thursday and Saturday.

-Weeknight games wear me out.

-I am a little freaked aout going to business interchange on Friday because of one person I will have to see... and I am not proud of my high school moment in their house.

-I am too old to be having high school moments.

-I need to wash my sheets on Saturday... or perhaps Sunday since I'll be working on Saturday.

-I might as well throw in the rest of my laundry then too.

-Must remember to give the excited "woo" on Friday... he'll like it more than he knows...

-Need to work the chamber more to my advantage. Sometimes people suck all the time and energy from everyone else. If I command my time a bit better... well, attention equals money.

-This started as a mess about the opera and the boy that has clouded my better judgement and has somehow morphed into a work and networking task list.

-Wow... my life must really suck.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I am totally in love...

... with the new shoes I am wearing. I should hope you didn't think it was person... we all know better than that.

While I am on the subject of love... I mean shoes... I think that life is bordering on unfair so far as work vs evening fashion trends for women. Tonight I will be going to the opera. I have to change clothes so as not to look like a shlub even though I am wearing slacks and a button-up dress shirt. See, that is not appropriate evening out wear for a woman. But men on the other hand, well, they can just go in their work clothes. Crap. So... I will be heading home at lunch, grabbing a skirt, a slightly higher heal, and something for the top that says "professional, feminine, classy, and available." No small task. Love the shoes I'll be wearing later too though!