Wednesday, April 19, 2006

A Few Thursdays Back

He looks good on paper. Met him a few days before. Dropped a quick email the next morning saying hey... which does wonders for a girl's self esteem. He's quick witted. Able to dish out as much (if not slightly more) as I am giving him. Impressive. He can keep up mentally. Put a check mark in his plus column. Back and forth with the email. Perhaps we'll see each other Thursday, maybe we should car pool, let's meet after work. Pause.

So in the meantime, I send my EDS spies in search of solid information. A fact finding mission if you will. Luckily for both of us, they were impressed. This is good as many of my clients often treat me like I am their 30-something unwed child and we are sitting together in temple when a single Jewish doctor comes stolling in to peruse the Torrah and just happens to be dashing and incredibly witty... calm down folks.

So we are set to meet after work at Fox, just a short jaunt down the road. He tells me he is heading to Starbucks before I get off and asks me if I want anything. A red flag goes up. Many upper middle class caucasian Americans need Starbucks like a comedian needs jokes about minorities. I sense a possible addiction. Could this be a problem? Possibly. I will however forgive this little "slave to the corporate monster and its marketing beast" indiscretion because he is getting me passion tea (though I am fairly certain he thought I was suffering from some inuendo dropping when really I just like passion tea).

I meet up with him and consider his vehicle briefly. Some sort of SUV, black (I say this as I pretend to not be so concerned with what he drives as to have noticed make, model and vin...). We decide that I should follow him to his place where we will leave my car and ride together downtown. I call my mother. That's what I do in the car. I call my mother to tell her how great work is, how fat I looked in my pants that day, how nervous I am about the carpool thing, blah blah blah... Thus my mother is the first person to learn of my new insecurities as I pull up to his house... That's right... house... not condo, apartment, duplex, fourplex, cardboard box... actual grown-up house. Nice lawn. Put another check in his plus column...

So in the house. I make mental notes as I get the official tour. Furniture matches, although obviously man furniture. Hardwood floors. Nice patio. Very clean. Organized. Duke MBA (like I wouldn't notice that). Great artwork. Cross above the bed (Catholic?). And then my mind wanders... He seems to add up to such a nice piece of man... so what is wrong? Could it be that he intimidate women with his nice clean home or his education or any number of things that I am finding intimidating... Could it be that when he talks in person and not via email he is socially inept... possible. Could it be that he has six toes on his left foot... who knows. Focus Lacey.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

The End of MySpace

Myspace for me was one of those fun little time fillers while I was waiting on the shared drive to locate a file, making copies, or any number of mundane office tasks. But alas... MySpace is dead. I may never post during the work week again. I may never feel the joy of reading blog comments and denying new friend requests during the work day. What will I do with all my spare moments? I will tuck my tail and run back to blogspot, the original home for all my exploits and still the home for those thing I don't want myspacers to read. I will embrace the joy that is my blog without all the other fun things attached. I will go back to being incredibly sad that noone will read my blogs... so sad.

Enough crying. This should be a moment for rejoicing. A moment for realizing that I have outsmarted my management by finding another outlet within moments of the terrifying:

Your organization's Internet use policy restricts access to this web page at this time.
The Websense category "Blocked" is filtered.


That's right. I am the power in this office... and the proverbial man will not be keeping me down.

Friday, April 07, 2006

Dirty Minded Meeting

Have you ever found yourself with a sudden need to have a "pleasurable moment" at a really inappropriate time? So I am sitting in meetings today thinking... huh... I could go for a sexy man right about now... perhaps in a towel... freshly showered... laying on the conference table. He would lay on his side with his head propped up by his sexy man arms. He could look into my eyes and rattle off marketing jargon. He could slide his hands across my reports and lick his fingers while turning the pages for me. I know he thinks I'm hot. Who (in my imagination) wouldn't? I think he's going to take off his towel and wipe the moisture from his body. Reach for it... And then...
"Lacey, what are your thoughts on that?"
Crap... so I give them my thoughts on what I was thinking about.
"I think that sounds super! We should make that happen today."
So here I sit waiting patiently for the copy machine to finish the copies that apparently I volunteered to make during the meeting... I really ought to pay more attention.

Invisible Children

Important Current mood: calm
Hey all- I'll be there... I would love to see more of my friends there. Invite everyone you know. It will be memorable. Without enough support, this event will mean nothing. With enough backing from some of the larger groups in the area, we can get news coverage... If you feel like you have to get something more than the possibility to impact change, bring out your group and wear your group's logo... Be the change. Make the difference. No one can do it alone.


The strangest feeling I have ever experienced is possibly the second break up with Nathan... I should feel alone, sad, broken. But I don't. I feel calm and slightly introspective about the whole thing. I don't feel like I need a girl's night out, a man bashing event, or a bottle of wine. I do need Nathan's friendship. I need him as a friend far more than I ever needed him for anything.

Nathan doesn't know that to me he has become a best friend. Beyond those friends that I have had for years, he is it. I trusted him enough to let him in and now I don't know what I would do if he were gone. I will bend in the friendship if need be to maintain. I will go out of my way to make him happy as I would for any of my friends. I will do this because he didn't make me feel broken.