Saturday, December 30, 2006

Pre Birthday Extravagaza!

What a great night... so much to tell if only I could remember it all...

Saturday, December 23, 2006

December 23rd... and Only One present Purchased...

And it's not even for family. My purchasing situation for December sits at the following:
  • Root canal and crown for Lacey
  • Plane ticket to England for Lacey
  • Fun new luggage for Lacey
  • Car insurance renewal for Lacey
  • Bottle of scotch for Reid.

This does not bode well for me. I am currently sitting at work and will have no time to shop before heading toward Lampasas, home of nothing to buy unless you like WalMart and western wear. I do have a gift that was purchased for someone else. I could likely part with that since said person isn't on the current gift radar... oh the holidays...

When People Read Things out of Context

When someone reads something that was not meant for them, it causes little issues. Often times when I write it is based on a conversation I had with someone or an event that occured that day...

The problem is that if I haven't talked to someone in ages, then the information that becomes blog fodder is outdated and not meant for interpretation from people who are in the current realm of Lacey. For instance... when I talk about having relations with myself... that is just a spinoff of some conversation with my former boss who lives in Iowa and is gaining weight faster that you can say cheese fries with sour cream. When I talk about someone who didn't mention me to his folks, it can be attributed to a conversation I had with Pearl about a road trip we took nearly three years ago. When I talk about Jesus liking hockey... well, that doesn't need explaining... that's just a little slice of heaven falling from the sky and creating a nice smooth sheet of ice.

I guess all said, I shouldn't have to explain myself here. If someone reads something here and feels some sort of negative energy from it... like a bad movie, an unattractive naked person, or a lime greem leisure suit... stop looking at it.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Too Messy for Desk Sex

How sad a day it is when I realized that my desk is far too messy for desk sex. The movies lead us astray with the notion that someone might actually knock everything off their desk with the intention of some passionate, primal action... but alas... it is but a lie. You see... the items on my desk are too important for me to just knock them around. Even if we are talking about some gorgeous man who is well groomed and relatively hair free... with excellent hygeine and great teeth... with a steady job and a 401k... and who loves dogs and Christmas...

And then it hits me... my work has taken some sort of strange precedence over... ummm... well... that other stuff.... or has it?

Earlier today, one of the other employees of this fine establishment asked me what I wanted for Christmas. For one fleeting moment I considered clearing my desk of papers... then I just chuckled to myself... realizing that he meant, "I am going shopping at the conservative kid store and I feel obligated to get you something... would you like lotion, a dvd or a candle?" Again though, a chuckle rose from within me... as I thought of the lotion and the candle and the cleaned off desk top... NO LACEY! Conservative kid stores don't sell that kind of lotion... they sell Oil of Olay and Ponds...

Sadly at this point I was just distracted... Off and on for the remainder of the day I weighed my options and sorted out the possible implications of each...

Throw caution to the wind, use a jersey as a pillow and get fired for sexual harrasment, but never make it to trial due to an untimely death caused by the embarassment of a coworker seeing me in all my glory...

Ask for the candle... light the candle... listen to a little jazz... be depressed thinking about how much better the desk thing would have been... put my head down to cry a little and catch my hair on fire...

Wait until my desk is cleaner to throw caution to the wind... and ask for the candle so that the smell of passion can be masked by the over the top smell of ocean breeze, though the ocean in Daytona smelled of salt and dead fish... catch my hair on fire still and then get fired...

I guess we will all have to wait for another day to sort this out. For now I am off to the gym... Can't go five days without a workout... besides I need to get in shape for the love fest or the stop drop and roll... whichever route I decide looks better...

Thursday, December 14, 2006

I'm Just a Love Machine

And I don't work for nobody but... myself...

That's right. I am alone. I would like to have someone to "work for" but alas I am bossless... at least in the love machine sense of things... Although some could say I am self-employed... but that's just inappropriate to talk about on the web.

So, yes... back to being bossless... or single... or celibate... whatever the kids are calling it these days...

It's really not so bad... okay... get real... I'm lying. If there were no repercussions, I would find a boss... I even have a great boss in mind, but there is nothing good that comes from having a boss in the long run. When you are self employed, you want the security of a boss. But when you have a boss, you want the independence of being self-employed. So what then? Perhaps it is best to be in middle management.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

He Didn't Event Tell His Parents About Me

And back then that hurt my feelings... Now, frankly I look back and I really don't even know what I saw in the guy. Pearl says I've gotten cold, but I think I've just grown up... added a few layers of skin... seen parts of the real world I could have lived without... At this point I am not even sure what causes a woman in a relationship to lose herself so completely... I'm just not there anymore... No point in losing myself again...

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Stars

The Stars lose everytime I go... Tonight I tried drinking more to make them look better.... kinda like what you do with men at the bar... no luck... they still sucked... but some guy offered to walk me to the ladies room... so the night wasn't a total loss...

I have the hots for someone that I shouldn't but I figure this isn't the worst thing that could happen... I could have the hots for a Sweedish lesbian with a mustache... that would be worse... in a way...

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Sprinkle Me with Love

Because this time I don't even have a potato.

When I was living in San Marcos when I was 22, I had one of those moments that while seemingly insignificant seemed to leave a clear mark on my memory. I was hungry and broke as many college kids are at that age. But not broke in that "I might have to turn to prostitution" way... more like the "I could have bought groceries this week, but I bought beer last week and now I'm out of luck" way... I was rummaging through my cabinet and all I had were various cookie sprinkles and a potato. This became a sad yet infamous event as I posted a blog describing using my finger to get the sprinkles out of the container lid like a lick-em-stick... Because while I was hungry, I wasn't about to take the time to cook a potato...

I have found myself in a similar situation today... I am no longer 22... I am making almost twice what I made then... I have learned to budget my money... and yet I have virtually no food... I have couscous, wine, and beer... Couscous takes like 20 minutes to cook or some ridiculous crap like that... So beer it is... I feel so grown up, making my own dinner and all... Bottoms up.