Friday, November 21, 2008

First Tucson Ride

We met downstairs early this morning for a quick ride. Seemed a simple enough plan. Make sure everything on your bike is in good working order. Do a quick 10-15 mile loop. Come back for breakfast.

After training alone for months, the thing that has made me the most nervous throughout this was the idea of riding so close to other people. So this morning would be a very small warm up to that (20 people today, 9000 people tomorrow).

Not but ten minutes later the group was split at a light change. I unclipped, stopped, and surprisingly (for the lack of notice on the stopping) did not fall. Small victory. I was happy to be riding with the team and felt comfortable with the people around me.

Green light.

I gave a strong down pedal with my clipped in foot too soon. I couldn't get the other foot clipped and was too close to the person in front of me. Crossed tires. Over correct and guarantee a fall or don't and possibly knock us both down... over correct.

So down I go... into traffic. I saw a grey vehicle above my head, heard screeching tires, felt a burn in my elbow and a jarring sensation in my head.

"Did we hit her!?!"

No. Just a little burn on my elbow and a headache (minimized by the helmet).

It scared me, but I knew I had to get back on and ride. We cut the ride short, but it was good. I feel ready. I have my fall out of the way and can look forward to staying upright tomorrow.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

You know you want it... come and get it

So I know you are all dying to read about the most pathetic set of dates ever... well kids, your wait is over. I am doing a little human experiment that will likely result in either my falling in love (1% chance), my getting an incurable disease (1% chance because I'm a prude and mono is curable), or my being completely humiliated by some sham of a date with a guy twice my age that I met online (98% chance).

So the only thing is that you have to visit my blogspot page at http://29firstdates.blogspot.com. Not because I want things to be difficult for you, on the contrary. You can subsribe to the page in the upper right hand corner and read away without your boss knowing you are online. Besides, I don't want some crazy stumbling upon the blog and being able to see my awesome luchador (super cool Mexican wrestling) photo and falling in love with me through Myspace. Let's be real, I'm just that irresistible.

So check out the blog. Feel free to comment, suggest dates, critique, and laugh it up with your coworkers. At this point it's clear, I have no shame and will do anything to amuse myself and my friends.

Looking forward to falling in love with you,

Lacey

By pure definition, I'm not a stalker.

someone who prowls or sneaks about; usually with unlawful intentions


I don't prowl. I let people know I'm doing it, so no sneaking here. And if it's unlawful to live vicariously through the people around you, then take me to jail.

Monday, November 17, 2008

The Accomplices

The Cynic- The Cynic raised her daughter to adulthood (or some facsimile of) and can't fathom why anyone would be concerned with dating to this degree when they haven't even reached thirty. Since she has a knack for finding broken men, hopefully she'll be able to spot them and push them out of the way before I trip on them. The Cynic is into "play dates" and due to her affinity for younger men, serious relationships are, at present, out of the question.

Joedonna Sparkle- Joedonna Sparkle married while still in high school and raised three children before dissolving the union after 39 years. Providing a moral compass for the experiment, she will encourage fun... but since she's my mom... only fun on a junior high level. To be clear, I wasn't that much fun in junior high. Joedonna sees things as a mother, a best friend, and a strong woman who always made the best of things.

The Soccer Mom- Soccer Mom has a get 'er done attitude. She drives an SUV, carts her kids to a thousand activities a week, and works in accounting. After 3 years of long distance dating, the man in her life made her an honest woman and she has been married for 14 years. Two boys, a career, a husband, a dog, parents that live so close they are practically in the same room… Soccer Mom provides the perspective of the working mom who made long distance work. Like Joedonna she will provide a moral compass, but I'm certain she'll be more lenient in hopes of a good laugh at my expense.

Ali Katt- Ali is the youngest of the accomplices. I tried to equate her to Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) so I could tell people she had more sex than a hooker. She reminded me that she was more like Carrie cause she keeps going back to her version of Big. Either way, she provides the perspective of early twenties, never been married, men are like a box of chocolates/Lays potato chips… you never know what you're going to get and you can't eat just one.

Mrs. Texas- Born and raised in DFW, Mrs. Texas is fairly content with marriage or the single life, either way she knows men still get on your nerves and still manage to occasionally surprise you. She's been single, married, married with kids, divorced with kids, and remarried with kids but still manages to keep her single-working-mom-of-two-while-husband-lives-in-another-state lifestyle in tact. “I am a Texas woman. I don’t need a man’s help to keep things running!” are words she lives by. Part couch potato and part princess, Mrs. Texas doesn't believe in Prince Charming or fairly tale love, but that hasn't stopped her from kissing more than a few frogs.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Goodbye Bike

I dropped off my bike today. I didn't realize how attached I had become. That is surprising considering how many other bikes I've "dated" during what should have been an exclusive bike relationship. I look in the rearview mirror and wonder... where's my bike?

The car is empty. I doesn't even smell like my bike anymore.

Friday, November 14, 2008

The Experiment

The stigma of being single has never been of particular concern to me. Being single is for the most part when I am at my best. I have historically been the type who gets into a relationship and immediately allows my neurotic need for 1950's sitcom love (you know the kind with the perfect relationship and twin beds) to lead me to a place where I lose sight of reality entirely. Where as when I'm single I slide more into the sitcom's of the 90's where it's okay to be single because without awkward dates what is there to laugh at?

Here I am a few short months from my 29th birthday. Most people have their breakdown (for lack of a better term) at 30. So why now? Pro activity. There is no point in waiting for the slide into my 30s, the decade in which I might become a cougar, when I can be proactive at 29 thus avoiding the horror of compulsive workouts and long nights at Martini Park hoping against hope that some 22 year old guy finds me attractive. Or at least attractive enough to take me home expecting gratification which he no doubt will not return.

Out of my pension for pro activity spawns the plan. The plan of all plans. So good (at least in theory) that there is no way to pass it up.

2009. 29 years old. 29 first dates. All before 2/9. It's doable... with help.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Looking (or pointing) Ahead

So if you don't know yet, I cut the tip of my finger off. Not a lot. Just enough that it bled forever and has gone numb down to the first knuckle.


The result of this mishap is that I have a gauze and tap extravaganza on my finger that doesn't allow it to bend. So I rode this morning. Not far, just a 35 mile loop through North Richland Hills, Grapevine, Southlake and back home. For those of you familiar with the area, yes I know I left out half a dozen other places but I only note where I am turning. But, back to the gauze. I couldn't get my cycling glove on. Bad? Not really, just a little chilly. The sad part of the ride was the fact that I had a gauze covered finger pointing straight ahead the entire ride.


Hey Lacey- which way are you going? This way!


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Airport Employees

At the risk of this somehow making its way back to the Secretary of Airport Operations, the Czar of Flight Security, or the UN Ambassador on Irritating People Before Cramming Them Into a Tiny Seat Beside Someone Who Has a Complete Disregard for Personal Space, I have to share with you the dark truth behind airport employees. This is worse that the Dateline expose' on old meat being cleaned up and sold at Food Lion... worse than the youtube video of a fast food employee bathing in the dish sink at the back of the chain "restaurant"... dare I say worse than the horror stories you hear about transient ride operators at local fairs.

Brace yourself.

Airport employees, thanks to terrorism and despite their overwhelming lack of higher education, have been trained to believe that they have complete control of airports, security, you, me, our luggage, the tube of chapstick I so wrongly tried to smuggled through security without restricting its devasting power in a ziplock bag, the order in which we board the plane, our right to not sit beside a person as large as a linebacker for an arena football team (that's right, somewhat fit, but mostly fat and either way oozing into my seat from above and below the armrest that is my only remaining hope at the personal space bubble I have tried so hard to maintain in my 28 years), in fact the entire the fate of the world (both free and otherwise) rests in the hands of these employees. It is quite the burden. I can see why so many of them have turned into sour faced, grumpy shells of the fun loving people that surely they used to be.
As I sit on a plane (if you can call a 20 row turbo prop a legitmate plane) from Denver to Boise I consider the days events thus far.

As I enter the line for security a woman (who is being paid how much?) stands at the front of the entrance. Is she there to check your boarding pass? Perhaps to check your ID? To help inexperienced travelrs through the process? No. Her job is to make you consolidate your items into one carry on and a personal item. "But ma'am, I need to keep my boarding pass and ID out." "I'm sorry, you have to prove that you can fit everything into one carry on and one personal item before I can let you into line." So I take my drivers license, boarding pass, and cell phone and drop them in my bag. "You'll need to put your suit jacket in your bag or put it on." Great. Who am I to argue.

As I approach the next airport employee just 5 to 10 feet away, I am asked to produced my ID and boarding pass. You know, the ones I was just asked to put away. So I open my bag and out they both come... again.

I step up to the cold metal tables to prepare for the walk. On a side note, I think security has become more of a walk of shame than the proverbial walk of shame. I mean, so you put on a cute outfit and stay over at someone else's place. The next morning hopefully you're satisfied, as long as you were an adult about things- you're not worse off than the day before, and you get to put on the same cute outfit to go home. No shame. But at the airport, you have to take off your jacket (the one I just put back on because someone told me to), your belt if it has too much metal, any large metal jewelry, your shoes, take all your anti aging creams, whitening toothpaste, antipersperant, make-up, etc out of your bag and display these things for everyone to see while you walk through a metal detector wearing what is left of your outfit.

I digress.

The rest of the travel day continues along the same lines from security to the gate attendants to the flight attendants to car rental people at the airport. But truthfully it doesn't really bother me. It doesn't even particulary affect my mood. At least not as much as the man sitting next to me on the flight from Denver who at first I thought smelled of vomit, but decided later had more of a processed meat/camping trip/no shower smell.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

An Entire Week

My mom was intown this weekend for some metro area entertainment (something you just can't find in Lampasas). So a long ride on Saturday was not in the cards this week. Instead it was a week of short rides. 10 miles here, 15 miles there. In all total, I don't even think I did 60 miles... but I'm pretty sure my mom is worth it.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Very very very long ride

I went for long ride today. I talked to George (the team captain) a while back about my inability to ride more than about 35 miles at a time. So this week I made a push to move past the boredom and log more miles. I mapped out a route that made it impossible to give in unless I wanted to hitch a ride home. No small loops today. Just one big loop.

My legs went a bit numb after a while. My head couldn't clear out the same way it does in the pool. I was distracted by cars and self doubt at my plan. I think what makes swimming long distances so easy is that I feel completly emptied out. All the mess and stress and what nots fade away. Swimming is something easy that I can do on autopilot. Cycling... not so much.

I feel tension in my back and shoulders. I flinch at every noise from behind. I realize I am white knuckling the handle bars and shifting constantly trying to find a comfort zone. People honk. Some pass too close. I am in the middle of nowhere and I want to get back in the car, head home and put on my swim suit and get in the pool.

74 miles later I am back at my car. I feel a sense of accomplishment at the distance, but not joy. I don't know what it is about this that makes me so uneasy.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Why I Shouldn't Have a Cell Phone

The convenience of a cell phone causes a number of problems for someone with little self control. The whole mess started because I was calling my cycling mentor Brad.

"Hello."

"Hey! Brad?"

"Yes"

Simple enough. I start rambling about my bike, falling, new pedals, personal lubricant that they sell at the bike shop to prevent chafing, hotel rooms on the trip, etc.

"Lacey?"

"yes..."

"I don't know what you are talking about. But I'm so glad to hear from you."

Crap crap crap... who did I call? Apparently I called one-date-never-call-him-back-so-why-did-I-save-his-number-Brad. Dang it. So I bail on the call with a complete lack of grace. Frankly I'm ashamed of myself at a level that I usually don't attain. Congrats dumb girl.

I start in the "A"s, deleting the random guys phone numbers that I clearly don't need.

Aaron no last name
Andy Flying Saucer
Andy Starbucks
Brad no last name
Chris Chuys
Chris Good Chapstick
Chris Sexy Suit
Chris Uptown (clearly foir a while I was on a Chris run)

You get the point.

So about half way through, I stumble across Bob*. Hmmm... I wonder what he's doing. Maybe I should call. No. I made a clean break there. But why? Because I was in a bad place? Because he was too nice? So I text. What an idiot. Why do I do these things? I knew better. It turns into a few days of texting back and forth with no real purpose or end or in site. So I just stop responding.

Now, because of the aforementioned convenience of a cell phone and my girl moment I have opened up something that was perfectly okay closed. We'll have to wait and see how this plays out.

I'm fairly this clearly demonstrates that I am not responsible enough to have a cell phone or at the very least, my cell phone usage should be monitored by an adult.

*Name changed to protect the innocent... obviously since we know said guy falls in the middle of my phonebook

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Lungs

One big difference between cycling and swimming is my lungs. In water I seem to have less trouble breathing. Maybe it's the humidity. Either way, I fair better.

Today when I was riding I couldn't shake the wheezing. Nothing more than an inhaler would usually fix, but today it was constant. 40 miles of wheezing.

I'm doing this for someone else though. Someone who fought a lot longer than 40 miles worth.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Bonnie: Living with Hodgkin Lymphoma


Post in Bonnie's words... cause she's so awesome it hurts.

I was diagnosed with Hodgkin Lymphoma at the age of 23. I had just begun my 2nd semester of my Master's degree, and lived several hours from all my family. So, I began my chemotherapy treatments with friends at my side, which proved to be my saving grace throughout my 7 months of treatment. They were with me every step of the way. I began to lose my hair by the handfuls after only two treatments. I had to resign from school immediately. I tried to stay at work, but after about 4 treatments, discovered that I was too sick to continue there, either. So, I took a 5 month leave of absence, and began to focus solely on healing myself. I had a chemo treatment on my 24th birthday.

It was a hard year, but giving up was never an option. I was declared cancer free nine months after my initial diagnosis, and am healthier today than I was to start with. It has been almost two years since my last treatment, and I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am to be healthy again.

My life was put on hold temporarily, but has now fallen back into place, if a little differently than originally planned. The final piece of what I was working on before I was diagnosed is almost complete, as I completed my Master's degree this summer.

Bonnie is an integral part of the office where I work. It never surprises me how many people are affected by Leukemia and Lymphoma, but it always surprises me who those people are.

Monday, August 25, 2008

All I Really Hurt Was My Pride

So a little over a week ago I had a bit of a spill. The bike is fine. Don't worry. Apparently the lime green, white, yellow and purple outfit I was sporting in broad daylight did not alert the woman in the SUV who was talking on the phone with what looked (for the curb mind you) to be eight zillion kids in the back that I was in fact there. Rather than let her clip my back tire, I went to the curb. Fight or flight? Flight for sure! Besides the curb is almost like pillow when compared to being drug along the road under an SUV.

So a bruise and sore leg later, along with some words of encouragement from a friend who tells me there are two kinds of cyclists (those who have wrecked and those who will), tomorrow I will be once again braving the DFW soccer moms, distracted bluetooth wearers, dinner in the car as they speed to the next place they are late to people, and the 1% or folks actually paying attention and hit the road for a short ride.

Friday, August 15, 2008

New Plan... Ask 4200 People for a Dollar

If I ask 4200 people for a donation, one would suspect that I would hit my goal right? We'll see. So far, I'm only at 565 people...

I think I can, I think I can... chugga chugga choo choooooo!

Monday, August 04, 2008

Saturday


This weekend was long. I spent very little time on the bike and a lot of time thinking about John. On Saturday afternoon, John finally let go. He is no longer in pain and now he can rest. He is my motivation tp push harder every day through this small challenge. Everytime I want to stop I will remember John and that he never quit fighting.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Kick-Off Week

As I start the first official week of my journey, John is having the battle of a lifetime. John is back at Medical City undergoing treatment while his wife Karen is wrapping up her own radiation treatments. I spoke with the floor nurse today. John is not very responsive and due to the pain and aggitation they have him pretty medicated. John has always been more concerned with Karen that himself and Karen has always been more concerned with John than herself... but John is getting tired. Tomorrow I will be skipping my morning swim and going to visit John. The nurse said he wouldn't be all that aware of my being there, but I've picked up the latest Hockey News with exciting draft information and I know he'll want to here it! So tomorrow is about a tiny slice of something normal. Please keep John and Karen in your thoughts.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

El Tour de Tucson

I am training to participate in 26th El Tour De Tucson as a member of The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's (LLS) Team In Training on November 22nd. All of us on Team In Training are raising funds to help stop leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin lymphoma and myeloma from taking more lives.

Every five minutes, someone in the United States is diagnosed with a blood cancer, and every nine minutes someone with a blood cancer dies. In honor of two of the most stubborn people that cancer has foolishly tangled with, my mother (who is a cancer survivor) and my friend John (who is currently battling cancer), I will take action by helping raise funds to help find a cure.
This is not just for them... I am completing this event in honor of all individuals who are battling cancer. These people are the real heroes on our team, and we need your support to cross the ultimate finish line - a cure!

I have made this commitment in order to educate those around me on blood related cancers, compete in my first century ride and raise $4200, which will bring The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society one step closer to the cure!

Please make a donation to support my participation in Team In Training and help advance LLS's mission. Every donation helps fund The Society for research, patient services, advocacy & education! NO DONATION IS TOO GREAT OR TOO SMALL…every bit helps!
I hope you will visit my web site often. Be sure to check back frequently to see my progress.

Thanks for your support!

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ntx/tucson08/lhammons

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Blow out

I arrived in Omaha just after 5pm and left the car rental counter at 5:45pm. At 6pm I'm certain I ran over something (though there was nothing in the road) because I have no control over the car. I pull over in a bit of a panic to a blown out tire...

After calling travel and travel calling the rental car company and 25 minutes of being on hold, the guy tells me it will 2 hours and someone will come change the tire for me. No new car? Same car and a donut?

So after a bit of irritation, I get out of my car in my four inch heals and skirt suit and changed tire. Record time I think.

Mad props to Lacey. Eff the car rental place.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

A Gay Novel


A Gay Novel
Originally uploaded by Lacey_Joe
Based on the cover of this book, one would suspect that they intend gay as in happy such as one's mother or grandmother may use the word. But how is a novel about a husband running away happy? It makes far more sense for it to be a homosexual novel... that would explain the husband running away and the look on the women's faces on the cover.

"Goodness June, I believe your husband is wrestling with mine!"

"Oh for heaven's sake Walter! What will the neighbor's say?"

TRE's friend who "claims" to be named Joe aka Old and Dirty

You know when someone tells you something and then they get a strange look on their face that says either "I'm lying" or "I can't stop myself from talking even though I know this sentence isn't going anywhere"? That's what I thought when I met Trinity Railway Express's friend Joe (so he says, though he is apparently referred to as Old and Dirty. On a side note, he admits to being dirty but disputes the old part, so Dirty it is... His name... a moment that seemed like a lie (even after he pulled out the drivers license).

So TRE goes to the bar to grab drinks and Dirty asks, "who all went to the concert?"

"Just us"

"Just the two of you? I thought it was a group of people..."

"Nope."

"Like a date?"

"He's your friend, maybe you should ask him."

"Do you like him?" (on a side note, this is getting a little 7th grade)

I reserve the rest of this very short conversation for those people who were there and remember it well... so just me. This conversation, the "I can't stop talking" variety.

TRE comes back from the bar, but this post is about Dirty... so you'll have to wait the alloted lag time to hear about the evening in regards to TRE.

Dirty has a few more drinks and every so often comes to talk to us. Each time with a random discussion to be had.

"I knew a guy that had his eyebrows waxed. They gave him a really high arch."
"Baseball players are not athletes."
"Tiger Woods hurting himself golfing!?! Come on... "
"I think she's a professional stripper."
"I have a ton of beer in my fridge, there is no room for food."
"I have a spare room you two can use."

So he made me laugh a lot. Same kind of funny as Morsal. So the awkward conversation and random comments result in another plus in TRE's favor. He has good friends. That says a ton about a person.

One last thing about Dirty. I told him to tell girls he worked at Lockheed to pick them up. He said that was a terrible way to pick up chicks and it would never work. Am I the only one who thinks smart guys are sexy? I think that pick up line would work... I'm mean, let's examine my adult relationship history... astrophysicist, mechanical engineer, aerospace engineer... nothing says hot like men who love math and science and building things. Yum.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Preparation

I arrived at Central Market around 5:30pm with the express purpose of purchasing picnic food for Trinity Railway Express for tomorrow night. With Michel on the phone in one hand and a small basket in the other, I walked through the produce asking:


"Do cherries say 'ask me on a third date?' If he doesn't like me, I'm wasting a lot of time in here. I don't even know what kind of fruit that it. What about strawberries... do they say, 'ask me on a third date?' OH- Grapes! Wait, I have those at home. Is this enough food? What do you know about cheese? Do certain cheeses say, 'ask me on a third date?' I feel like I'm being tested. Do I need a cheese knife? What is a cheese knife? Does it say cheese knife? What if I pack the wrong things? Do nuts say, 'ask me on a third date?' Never mind, I'm sure they don't, you're right they would get stuck in my teeth... That might say ask me on a third date, but it would also say, 'don't kiss me I have nuts in my teeth.' I don't think men even think about these things. I should just throw a couple lunchables and a fruit rollup in the bag. Michel, are you still there?"


At this point I'm sure Michel wanted to kill me and felt he was being punished for something he had done in a past life. So I reluctantly let him off the phone... so I could call our mom and ask what she knew about cheeses and third dates and impressions that could be made by the contents of a picnic basket.


Being a fabulous mom and understanding my feelings of insecurity and anal retentive need for perfection, she looked online for info on cheeses, suggested that I buy some meat, and recommended that I steer clear of anything with mayo. You can always count on your mom for good advice.


Now the shocking truth of the matter. I spent 2 hours at Central Market only to leave with a feeling that I didn't make good food decisions and there was no way that Trinity Railway Express was even going to consider a third date much less a kiss. Bollocks.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

I think I like him, but he doesn't like tattoos

And as we all know, when I was 19 I thought I really needed one. So there it is, a permanent mark on my back (or at least mostly permanent since I guess I could pay in both cash and pain to have it removed...) that he doesn't like. Or I guess he doesn't like. I don't really know because he hasn't seen it and I was myspace stalking when I discovered that he doesn't like tattoos... among other things such as Ford, tomatoes and anything high maintenance.

That's beside the point though. I decided that we should go to the FC Dallas game 9he was smart enough to think of doing something in the air conditioning, but I refused the offer of a more pleasant climate in the hopes that his love of soccer would rub off on me and I would finally get it. Instead, I was distracted by the sexy appeal of tan, sweaty legs and eyes that make you want to curl up with someone (if it wasn't 101 degrees of course). So do I understand soccer any better? Maybe a tad, but mostly I'm just still thinking about tan, sweaty legs and amazingly warm eyes.

Friday, May 23, 2008

You may think you need one, but you don't.

The old door worked just fine. But there I was with new door. I thought it might be interesting down the line, and in fact it was... but not ina good way. New door is hung up on his old door and doesn't have it in him to be direct. Grab the knob, turn, open. Direct.

I'm not lookng for someone as blunt as I can be at times, but at least be able to speak your mind without looking like you feel complete shame that you've spoken. Why didn't I notice the first time we went out? Must have been the beer...

To clarify though, if new door finds a girl with a new door who is also hung up on her old door and unable to speak freely, they will do well. After all, new door is nice. Just a little too nice.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What is wrong with people?

So after a 4 hour flight, enjoying my my seat in 30E (that's the middle seat at the back of the bus for you kids that don't fly a lot) having spent the majority of the time being kicked by the small child behind me and having the lady in front of me bounce around in her way too reclined seat... the woman next to me asks if she can get out of her spacious window seat (no kid behind her, no reclined seat in front of her) because "I can tell you're not in a hurry." To which I (probably a little bit on the bitchy side said, "well, I'm not in a hurry to stand up in a half croutched position just to wait on the 90 people in front of us to get off the plane. I'll stand up when it's our turn." She says, "Well, I AM in a hurry." So being the kind of loving person I am, I replied sweetly, "well, you're already standing in a half croutched position, so mission accomplished." Needless to say I didn't let her crawl over me just to sit in the seat on the other side of me since clearly the aisle was full. What an idiot. Has she never flown before? Behind us a few rows a mom was telling her 4-5 year old that we had to wait our turn and explaining why they weren't getting off the plane. I wanted to look at the crazy lady next to me and say, "Are you listening? She's talking to you too."

Monday, May 12, 2008

Cheesy Quiz for a Girl Who Can't Sleep

  • I am listening to: The AC, CSI Miami, and Koda having a dream and making that little dog noise...
  • Maybe I should : Try to go to sleep again... or try to stay up until tomorrow and then work all day, takes me back to college days... or maybe I should go to the store and get some ice cream. I love ice cream.
  • I wish: there was some cheap AND easy way to rid myself of unwanted body hair permanently.
  • Chocolate: is good when it's dark and not good (or real) when it's white.
  • I have lost my respect for: the owners of my last employer
  • The meaning of my display name is: umm... it's my name.
  • Right now I'm craving: cuddle time... I'm pretty impartial as to who with, but that being said, call before you come in case you fall into the no column.
  • Someday: the world will run out of beef.
  • I will always remember: my name. Unless I have some terrible accident affecting my brain. But if I can't remember my name, I will have other more pressing issues.
  • Tomorrow: is technically Tuesday.
  • I get annoyed: when people use poor grammar and when men (who are way less than attractive) say that they aren't interested in a girl because she's not super hot. Look in the mirror boys. Most of the time when you see a couple walking down the street, the girl is more attractive than the guy.
  • Is your hair wet? Actually, yes.
  • Do you miss someone? I don't guess.
  • Are you wearing chap stick? Nope.
  • Are you tired? Yes, but I can't seem to get to sleep
  • Are you wearing pajamas? sorta. I don't really do the pajama thing. I do the shorts/sweats and a tshirt thing.
  • Are you mad? yes. Mad cow.
  • Are you upset? About what? Whay do you ask? Should I be upset? Did you do something to me?
  • Last phone call? My mom called me to say she was at my nana's house.
  • Last time you cried? last week, but only for half a second.
  • Last hug? Hmmm... yesterday.
  • Ever dated someone twice? Who hasn't made that mistake?
  • Been cheated on? Who hasn't had that pleasure?
  • Been over-seas? Sure.
  • Lost someone close? Like at the mall when you can find someone? Yes.
  • Three favorite colors: Red white and blue cause I love America. Wait I meant green, gold and purple cause I love Mardi Gras. Wait... I meant...
  • Have you made a new friend this month? Sure, sure.

Friday, May 09, 2008

The End of Queen Ann's

Last night I decided to put things to bed. While I am okay with avoiding difficult things, it just seems immature to not say anything. I tried to call Queen Ann's last night but didn't leave a message when he didn't answer (I don't think the "I'm just not that into you" conversation is something you should have in a voicemail. Funny thing is, Queen Ann's thinks it's the kind of conversation you have in an email.

So here it is "I want to be honest with you. I enjoy your company and feel we have several common interest, but I haven't felt any kind of connection beyond a friendship."

What Queen Ann's doesn't realize is, I'm not even sure we could be friends.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Once Was Enough, Thanks Anyway

Today I was standing chatting with a colleague of mine about vacation, psychs, visa candidates, etc. One of the girls from human resources was taking an interviewee on a tour of the office and they walked right by me. I turned just in time to see Mr. I've Jumped Out of a Million Planes and I'm Going to be President of a Professional Sports Team Soon Even Though I Have No Experience at All in Anything Other Than Being a Douche Bag Mike.

Yes, the Mike who started working at the Tornado last May. The same guy that told me if we both had guns, he would shoot me first. The same guy that wouldn't work with me alone because he didn't want his wife to get the wrong idea. The same guy that thought the only reason women could sell was because they used their sexuality to somehow trick people into buying things. The same guy that more than doubled overhead while the sales (which he was responsible for) took a dive. The same guy that lied to customers, gave some fans things for free and some fans discounts while telling other fans that we don't do that. The same that encouraged his sales staff to lie about what was prospected business so he could get the write off commission off them. The same guy who on his first day asked us to stick together like family (sales staff) and no longer stick with the people we had worked with all along (MC, Cheeks, etc). Do I need to go on?

So apparently after everything, he wants to work with me again... for old times sake. I'm sure because it was so much for both of us the first time around.

To make a long story short, I started sweating, got all kinds of sick to my stomach, talked to my boss, went to lunch to hide out and get it back together, came back and...

Things had been taken care of. The people who had never told me to be their family supported me like family. Mike won't be getting a call back. It's unfortunate that he drove all the way from Little Elm to Irving and wasted time interviewing, but frankly... what goes around...

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Second Date: Hiking

So I went hiking with Queen Ann's on Saturday morning. He couldn't keep up. He kept blaming it on his dog. I felt like he was more interested in stopping to eat than hiking.

To make matters worse, there were tons of hot guys out there without chicks. And there I am with Queen Ann's. Hot guy going by, not so hot guy with me, another hot guy going by, not so hot guy with me... it made for a tediously long walk.

This just isn't going anywhere. It isn't comfortable for me and it can't be comfortable for him. The non confrontational person in me hopes this goes away on its own.

Friday, May 02, 2008

First Date: Flying Saucer

It has to be a good sign when a guy wants to meet at the Saucer right?

So new door was funny and very nice. Not much to share here... We sat and chatted for almost three hours and really enjoyed each other's company. Nothing funny to share, but this one could end up being interesting down the line.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Seriously?

In my email (as if I don't get enough junk about viagra, putting some money from Africa in my bank account, etc) today was reminder about an event that I have no desire to attend. For the sake of shortening the email, I will only include the high points and a short commentary on why I am not impressed.

1. Join Suburban Northwest Kiwanis
-I'm not in kiwanis and don't want to be.
2. ...and our friends from the Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Stars and Texas Rangers
-Kiwanis has friends with the Cowboys, Stars and Ranger? Sure they do... wink wink
3. $10 donation at the door includes:
-$10 to go to a bar that never has a cover? That's a genius way to get people to come.
4. Great hors d'oeuvres and non-alcoholic beverages 'til 9pm
-So now I get "great" appetizers and water that technically cost me $10.
5. ...and drink specials until 11pm
-The same they usually have without the $10 cover and the Kiwanis people?
6. Silent auction of awesome prizes
-I get to spend more money? How could anyone not want to go??? Who does this even benefit? No one know.
7. AND Mingling with professional athletes from the Dallas Cowboys, Dallas Stars and Texas Rangers!
-This part could be my biggest complaint. The Stars were playing that night as were the Rangers... so do I have to leave the bar that I paid $10 to come in when I could have gone the next night for free and drive to the ballpark or downtown to the AAC to do this mingling? Don't promise garbage like this if you can't deliver. As someone who spent a number of years working in sports, frankly I'm a bit disgusted. This was also mentioned in the email subject line.
8. 100% of proceed benefit... and where the need is the greatest.
-So my original issue of not knowing where the money was going... mystery not solved.
9. In Kiwanis, "WE BUILD!"
-Build what? Emails full of crap?

Now I was tempted to leave the name and phone number that were on the original email, but even I don't have that much of a mean streak. Besides, I'm sure the "fans" who didn't realize the Stars and Rangers were playing already let said person have it when they got the bar and could only mingle with the televisions that were showing the games and thus the players.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

First Date, Pizza and Wine

Denver is just as funny in real life and my verbal filter was just as absent. So for tonight I will count the reasons that if I were him I wouldn't call me again...

1. Today I talked to him about the following:
- My opinions on welfare
- Vacation plans that include alligators and wild hogs
- Cooties
- Ex boyfriends
- Religion
- The notion that booze leads to sex
- Wiccans
- Homosexuality
- Blah blah blah... you see the problem

2. I touched his hands abruptly across the table for the purpose of explaining something only to pull away as abruptly. Though I didn't want to, I thought he wanted me to. So, just like a girl, I way over thought the whole thing.

3. I made him pay. I mean, I offered to pay, but I had already told him something about someone else not paying, so while I really would have (cause I think he's a super decent guy), I think he felt like he had to. Dang the verbal filter.

So will he call? Who knows. I guess we'll find out soon enough.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

First Date, Sushi

So after meeting Queen Anns and chatting with Denver, I really had no interest in eating with MBA, but I had already agreed and I'm not one to back out on plans. So I met him at a sushi place near home (because all vegertarians like uncooked fish?). Conversation could unfortunately be likened to a job interview that just isn't going well. One person knows they aren't going to get the job, the other knows they're not going to offer it. But there you sit keeping up appearances and being polite. So edamame, one glass of wine, and veggie rollswere the cuisine of choice for me. For MBA, two mixed drinks, edamame, california rolls wrapped in salmon, and the special. My total, less than $20. MBA's total, more than $50. This doesn't bother me as geenrally my food costs less that someone who is consuming meat (fish, chicken, beef, lamb, shellfish, goat, alligator.. etc). What does bother me is that MBA clearly learned in school that the best way to make money is to split the check with your date. Now to clarify, I don't mind splitting the check. In fact I suggested that we get separate tabs. My motivation, to avoid any obligatory hug/peck/etc. His motivation, to be a cheap bastard. So I ask for separate tickets, he tells the guy waiting on us, "just split it down the middle." Let's review... me-$20, him-$50. Split down the middle-$35 each plus tip...

Should I want to go out with someone again who makes me pay $15 of his tab for the pleasure of crappy conversation and the awkwardness of sitting with someone who has clearly overexaggerated their height by a good two inches? No. And guess what? In my old age, I've lost the attraction that I used to have for liars and cheap idiots. So, there will be no second date with MBA.

Ladies- If this sounds like what you are looking for and you want to throw money down someone else's throat, let me know. I'll set you up. I have a feeling he'll be having more first dates than repeat dates for a long time to come.

Monday, April 21, 2008

First Date: Seeing Stars

Not romantic stars... hockey. The best way to get through a first date that has potential to be terribly awkward is to do something that you can enjoy no matter who you are with you can still enjoy.

Despite everything great about Queen Ann's on paper, it was just so-so. No spark, but I figured I could work through that... with booze. So I drank enough beer to have half a spark but that was squashed with a peck at the end of the night. A peck should leave you wanting more, not glad that it was only a peck. Perhaps I'll give this one another shot... I'm not a quitter.

Silver lining... it was a great hockey game.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

"You need to get laid"

How many times have I heard that recently? I can't even begin to count the number of people who seem to think that would somehow improve my quality of life. Well... here's the truth of the matter. Please grab a notepad, this is good stuff...

Sex leads to cooties. I know what you're thinking. Circle circle dot dot now you have a cootie shot. But like most shots, you really need a booster every so often for that one to stay potent. And honestly, when was the last time you had one. I think mine was in the 80's.

So avoid cooties by avoiding sex.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Macy’s is Having a Sale

Not that this should come as a surprise or even count as newsworthy since they have been having a perpetual sale for months now. Though I have been watching the cost of two items slowly go down until today I finally decided to make them mine.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Losing my edge

The meanest thing I could think of to say to someone earlier this week was, "well... you eat your boogers!"

When did I get so soft? Next on my list, get kitten, bake cupcakes, and paint rainbows and dancing unicorns on my bedroom wall.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Work, Life, Dating, etc: An In Depth Update

Work: Still going. Every morning. Same time.

Life: Still having it. Not dead. Got the basics... airway, breathing, circulation.

Dating: I'm not.

Etc: My car smells like chlorine and hockey gear.

Thank you all for taking the time to fully update yourselves on my life. I know this has been a lot to take in, but when you are as busy and exciting as I am... well, there can be a lot to say in a blog. I am sorry if any of you found this update overwhelming or if it made you feel like you were somehow of touch with my rock star life. I'll try to keep you more in the loop. Don't try to act like you aren't holding your breath for the next glimps into my world. I know you are. Don't worry, you won't die from holding your breath. You'll just pass out and start breathing again. Unless you're underwater. Don't do that. It has negative consequences... unless you are surrounded by old school lifeguards, pre modified shorter training.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Enough

The strong man who never faltered and always loved the water:Just before Christmas an amazing friend and great man left this world by his own choosing. I do not pretend to know why nor do I judge. I don't know what was in his heart or the sadness he must have felt. I know that he was tired. He had a moment when he felt completely lost. We've all had them, but most of us recover.

The always joyful man who never ran out of laughter or faith: Another friend and great man left this world in December not by his own hand but at the hand of another. He opened his home and his heart to a person in need and to repay his kindness that person took his life. I know that my friend was a man of great faith and he was doing what he knew was right. He was not lost. His heart was open and he loved unconditionally.

The patiently quiet man who served as a rock and a teacher:Last night a friend and great man left this world not by anyone's hand, but suddenly and without explanation. He worked hard, gave freely of his time to help others, always found time to let his wife and daughter know they came first. He wasn't sick. He was just called home.

Last night I thought I had gained perspective, but today my heart is just filled with sadness. I am getting numb. I am turning inward because I don't think anyone understands right now, though they try.

But I will be okay.
I will pray.
I will cry.
I will sing.
I will paint.
I will grow.
I will smile.
I will be a better friend.
And I will move on, but not forget the love these men shared and the friends they were to me.

It’s Been a While... But I’m Still Funny

Or not... I've had a rough couple weeks, but had the blessing of seeing people that I missed more than I realized. You always realize things when you see people. So I would like to share the things that I realized during a few funerals I've been to since Christmas...

1. That guy you thought you would marry when you were only ten... well it's not true what they say about people changing. That guy is still hot and he is still going to marry you. He just doesn't realize it yet.

2. Celebrations of Life trump funerals anyday.

3. Brinkworth's hair, still wet, still long, still soft, still yummy.

4. Guys named Chris always finds gorgeous women and all gorgeous women love to be found by guys named Chris. Lucky bastards.

5. People are amazing... and amazingly valuable. Be it because they make you laugh during really hard times or give you a hard time to make you laugh.

6. Don't worry if the guy you hearted in the fourth grade doesn't dig you. There's always the guy who when you were 16 and he was 25 wasn't all that appealing but now that you're 28 and he's 27... well... as I said don't worry about the other guy, this guy has potential to be hearted as well.

7. Pretty people stay pretty. And ugly people... well they have a 50/50 shot of coming out on top. I'm pulling for you uglies... I too was one of you. But now... clearly I'm hot.

Okay... That's all for now... Cause it's late, I'm getting old, and work comes a might bit early (that was the 85 year old in me coming out).