Friday, February 06, 2009

Date 14: Pearl Snaps and an Affinity for South American Mujers

So I am white. Very very white. Painfully, stereotypically white.

I am a grammar freak rather than a freak in the sheets. I don't have enough junk in my trunk to be classified as more than a mini cooper... that car won't even hold groceries for more than one person for a couple days. Think this... ... only circa 2009.... which might make me more like this...

Regardless, as I sat across from pearl snaps listening to him rattle on about himself (I'm getting really good at listening to men talk about themselves and have almost forgotten that at some point in my life I actually thought conversations went both ways and included more than one topic), I wondered if he could do anything else other than spit out 1001 facts about himself in record time.

Then a moment of hope. He started to change the subject.

Hope was fleeting however as his new topic of conversation took shape.

"I love Latina women. Did you see those two girls over there?"

"I did...?"

"They are smoking hot. En fuego. I love the curves on Latina women. Did you see their asses?"

"I did...?"

Now I can clearly see where the stereotypes are taking this conversation. But who am I to stop this gem of convo?

"Latina women are less inhibited in bed. I am really into that. I mean seriously, I hope I'm not offending you, I'm just being honest."

"No please, honesty is the best policy." And it makes my friends laugh more later than if this were going well.

"Have you ever been with someone Latina?" This he said with the smarmiest tone he could have without the use of a zappa stash, which he did not have even the slightest makings of.

"You mean Latino?"

"Heh-heh. I guess that's what I meant. Unless you're into that sort of thing."

The rest of the time spent with pearl snaps is a blur of my wishing I were less conservative, more curvy, not so pale, and some how exotic... or something. But, I am still very very white. And as I stood to leave the table and walk quickly away from pearl snaps, I grabbed the waistband of my jeans to pull them the few inches back up to my waist since my lack of curves weren't keeping things in place.

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