Friday, April 03, 2009

Date 1.Shoot Me in the Face: No Really, Somebody Shoot Me in the Face

Today's plan:
1. Workout
2. Work
3. Watch hockey
4. Possibly play tonsil hockey

But you know what they say... the best laid plans...

So I wake up late. Not so late that I feel like a disgusting sloth, just late enough to miss my workout. No big deal.

I go to work, get a lot done, like abruptly remapping my career path in a thought-I-was-going-to-Portland-Oregon-drive-for-26-hours-oops-I-was-supposed-to-go-to-Portland-Maine sort of way. Again. No big deal. Just a few tears. Every second. As I drive to pick up Link. Looking all blotchy. And running late. Again. Whatever.

Link and I meet Montana and McDeidle at the arena a little late. Things are okay now. Going to go ahead and scratch number 4 off the list. No point in messing up my streak of not quite getting things right today.

Fast forward to the part you actually care about... the shoot me in the face part. I get hammered. Absolutely, embarrassingly, everybody looks good, eyes only half open hammered.

Back at Link's place I consider napping on the couch. We start to talk. I have no filter. Clearly he is not too bothered by this since he doesn't stop me. I mention that I should go. He says I should stay there, clearly I ought not drive. I say i don't want to sleep on the couch. He offers his bed, with him in it. I say he's all talk. He agrees. I ask him why. He says he only hooks up with girls he doesn't really like. I get confused and scan the room for a calendar from 1998 and college tshirt. He explains further that he hooks up with girls and then casts them aside. I give him stink eye and much more sober than I had felt mere moments before ask what that's about. He tells me of his plan for the future and how certain things are guarded. Apparently not everything. No, but he doesn't say, "I love you." Right on, me neither, I think it's oogy and sure fire way to cause a relationship meltdown...

The year was 1997. There was a man sitting on my bed in my very girly room in the dark... crying. I tried to say the right thing. Not my strong suit. He was still crying. Have you ever seen a man cry? Talk about uncomfortable. Try again. Nope, no dice. "I love you... ?" the crying stopped. My motivation was completely misplaced. And thus was born my aversion to the term.

But Link... oh no. His problems are bigger than the crying man. the conversation is a fuzzy mess after that. Perhaps Montana will chip in and remind me how it ended since I called her on my drive home. Regardless, wow. I brought this on myself 100%. Why didn't someone stop me weeks ago. Feel free to tell me next time you see crazy coming my way. If you warn me and I don't react, make like it's a bus and someone please push me out of the way.

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