Thursday, June 17, 2010

Flying Solo

Take of the training wheels kids, I’m finally on a solo dinner date with Gingerneer. I said I would be late, then I was early, then he was on time… mostly. He was actually 2 minutes late. I would never have noticed, but he pointed it out and apologized. Consistently courteous. Check!

We met at Taco Diner near our offices. It worked well since we live in different directions. The central location gives us more time to hang out and doesn’t give anyone home court advantage. Surprisingly, he had never been to Taco Diner (he grew up in DFW- so this is a strange realization)… but he won brownie points when I asked him where he usually ate Tex-Mex. Chuy’s. Ay dios mio! Yo amo Chuy’s! It’s my favorite too. I feel like the stars have aligned in this very moment.

We talked for hours about all sorts of things, but the most memorable part of the conversation caused a break in my plan. Yes, I had a plan. There was a kiss involved in my plan. But the best laid plans…

Earlier this week, I got a fortune cookie from the Thai place by the bike shop. Two of my favorite places side by side equal obvious cosmic balance. “An unexpected event will soon make your life more exciting.” I taped the fortune to my monitor at work and took a deep breath. I’m not big on surprises. If I’m going to kiss him, I’m going to be ready, and he’s going to think I’m amazing.

Back to the dinner conversation. We were discussing how interesting it is when people meet at the bar and sleep together a few hours later. Whatever floats your boat. But at 30, it seems a lot more inappropriate than it is in college. Again, I’m not saying it’s wrong and I’m not condoning it, it’s just what we happened to be talking about. So he says something to the effect of “first you have the one arm hug, then a full hug, then a kiss on the cheek, then a peck on the lips…” Then I quit listening.

One arm hug? We skipped that. Full on, though awkward hug was had in lieu of the one arm job.

Full hug? We’ve done that. More than once. I like his hugs but they make me think inappropriate things. REALLY inappropriate things.

Kiss on the cheek? Oh my. That hasn’t happened. Wrench in the plans. Danger! Danger!

This is the unexpected event. Exciting is not how I would describe this. This is a mess. Now I know there is no kiss in my future this evening. Sad face.

The evening goes on and he is so great that I forget about the kiss situation, resign myself to another full frontal hug.

Nearly three hours later, I decide it’s time to face the hug. Resign myself to the friend zone. Embrace my the lack of lip locking. Commit myself to a life of celibacy. No big deal. I’ll be a spinster. Sigh…

We walked toward our cars and the awkward dance began.

Do I hug him?

Will he hug me?

Will I still get butterflies if this hugging keeps occurring?

Will I have another inappropriate thought?

Oh just hug him Lacey.

Take your cheek kiss and be thankful he had dinner with you.

Accept it Hammons.

Then he kissed me. On the mouth. Ohmygodiwassonervousthatifunmbledmywaythroughitanddartedintomycarasfastaspossibletogetawayfromhimbeforeistartedcryingorturnedthecolorofaclownnosecrapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

I bolted. I am such a wuss.

Gingerneer = great kisser

Lacey = horrible, nervous kisser

Ack…

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