Wednesday, August 07, 2013

Crazy Dreams

I try to use my logical thinking skills when it comes to dreams.  I think of it like defragging your computer... your brain is taking all these bits of information and reorganizing them into nice little pockets.  While it's working its magic, some of the weirdness slips out. And it muddled with other weirdness.  This spawns freaky dreams that cause me to question whether or not New Guy just might be drugging me. But, seriously... it's just information being expressed in bizarre fashion in my head. It doesn't mean anything.

Or does it?

So last night I have a pretty lifelike dream about being in the hallway of a hospital or old school junior high.  Long hallways, lots of doors along the sides, unflattering lighting, the whole bit. I'm there to pick up the baby New guy and I are adopting (so clearly a hospital, but still reminds me of Hefner Middle School).  Why are we adopting? I don't know. But somehow, I do know that I plan to have a baby of my own in addition to the baby we are picking up. Okay, brain. Let's move it along.

I go leave the hospital with said baby and the nurse (straight out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest... not that lady, but wearing that outfit... which is obviously strange) came running out after me into the hallway.

"Miss, there are two."

Umm, brain. Not cool.

Here is where things take a less normal (normal in the sense that at least people adopt and go to places to do so and nurses are involved way, not an I've been thinking about all this way") turn.  I ask her what she means and she says the woman had twins unexpectedly.  Sure, maybe she NEVER had a single prenatal visit and just thought, "man this baby is huge and has 4 legs"... whatever. So as I go back in for said baby...

** Brace yourself for clear, narcissistic, vivid dream recall... **

I think to myself, "Oh, well New Guy said he wanted two and now there are two.  I won't get to have a baby which makes me sad. But, this way I won't be as old when the younger is in high school, since they are only a few minutes apart. And at least I won't gain all that weight back. No one wants to be the oldest mom in the room and I did just buy skinny pants."

Seriously... Wow. Maybe I'm going to adopt! Maybe it will be twins! Maybe I will do it for the right reasons instead of vain ones!

But...

Having given it some thought, I realize in the last 24 hours I've...
  1. watched a design show about creating a nursery for twins 
  2. used a chemical that said it may 1) harm a fetus and 2) cause infertility
  3. put my last pair of bigger pants in the donation pile
  4. talked to my nana about children with disabilities (which resulted in #5)
  5. questioned waiting to start a family until I was 34
Brain, you are an ass. 

An ass of epic proportion. 

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