Friday, March 07, 2014


On the left side of the screen every time I check my gmail, my mom's name is there in the chat.  Just waiting to be clicked on. I'm pretty sure that after this long, I should remove her from the list. But, it's oddly comforting feeling like she's there in case I need to drop her a quick line. So, I leave it as is it. 

Thursday, March 06, 2014


In an effort to stay in better shape and not lose sight of last year's health and fitness goals, I've been walking more stairs and using less elevator. In the morning, I park my car and wander down the six flights of stairs to the ground floor of the building.  In the evenings, I head down the ten flights of stairs inside, then outside in the parking garage I  head back up the six flights to my car.

Down 6.

Down 10.
Up 6.

Day in and day out, I wander (mostly) down, then back up the stairs.

At first, I would huff and puff and feel like death going both down and up. Then… not so much. Down, down, up... down, down, up. Every day it got easier. So, I started taking the stairs when I would go down for lunch or to mail a letter. Gravity was on my side after all.

But today. What an idiot.

Today, I decided to go back up the stairs in the office. It’s only a few more floors that the parking garage… A few more floors on which to sit down and die as your heart pounds right out of your chest before bloodily bouncing down all those stairs.

Ground floor: Golly gee! I think I’ll take the stairs back up! Wouldn't that be an awful lot of fun! Super plan!

Sixth floor: Are these flights of stairs taller than the ones in the parking garage? Oh well, almost there! Keep moving champ!

Seventh floor: Really? That’s what one more floor feels like? Crap.

Eighth floor: Oh! They have a card reader on their door. Maybe I can get out of this death tunnel on this floor! *BEEP* Nope.

Ninth floor: Sweet Jesus, only one more floor. With You I can keep going! No need to sit down now.

Tenth floor: Well. Huh. No card reader here. Why did I not remember that? Should I just go back down? Down isn’t so bad. I like down.

Halfway between the tenth and eleventh floors: Dear diary, there is something so discouraging about being so out of shape that stairs make the blood pump through you with such intensity that it sets off a veritable drum circle in your inner ear. My calves are burning with the intensity of a thousand suns. An icy hot overdose couldn't be this unpleasant. Is it possible for the heart of a 34 year old woman to actually burst in her chest? I hope not, seeing as though I’m a 34 year old woman… alone… in a stairwell… If anything happens to me and someone finds my body, please make sure Koda is taken care of and that David waits at least a year to start dating again.  Oh and tell people I made it to a higher floor… in heaven.

Three steps up from halfway between the tenth and eleventh floors: Oh. God. Take me now.

I’m not sure if the Lord actually came down and created a footsteps in the sand type situation where he carried me up the steps like a holy firefighter, but it’s pretty much an exercise induced blur after that. Somehow, I made it to sixteen where my access card worked and I was able to take the elevator back down to ten.

Interestingly, having sat here just long enough to pump out this short little post, my legs don’t hurt anymore.

Perhaps I’ll try again tomorrow.

Monday, March 03, 2014

Considering Taking Up Blogging for Lent

Or I guess taking it back up.

It seems I have again spent several months in radio silence with the blog. I could use the whole planned a wedding got married thing as an excuse, but instead of excuses let's talk about what made me circle back around...

A friend posted 10 truths we forget to easily. I expected the post to be something completely different from what it was. It's a funny thing, the mind. In the brief moment before the page loaded, I had already constructed the entire list in my head. None of them, it turns out, were on the list.

The truths that I forget too easily aren't the same as those forgotten by another. Sure, there are some things we all have in common... but then there are those pieces of the human experience (though they may be shared at a surface level) that are so personal that you could never fully express them to anyone else. For me, writing keeps me in touch. It may bore anyone who dares to read to read it, but it grounds me. It grounds me in the activity i wrote about. It grounds me in the experiences I'm having.  It grounds me in my internal dialogue - which let's be honest, can be a disaster.

So I thinking about an organized effort. Not one to gain more readers, because I don't want to be a food blogger... or a fashionista... or your one stop shop for something funny... or a DIY haven. I just want to be more grounded...

Grounded in whatever happens to be on my mind on any given day.