Thursday, April 30, 2015

After This, Pregnancy Should Be Breeze

I'm not pregnant. I've never been pregnant. I've not even had a chemical pregnancy. I've never created a life.

But I have had crazy hormonal mood swings. I've woken up at 3am soaked from night sweats. I've had hot flashes at random. My boobs have been so sore I hated the thought of putting a bra on. I have enjoyed the same breakfast twice thanks to morning sickness. I have gained weight that has stayed with me and been bloated to the point of looking fully pregnant from water weight that thankfully went away. I've had surgeries and procedures. I've had more vaginal ultrasounds than should be allowed.

Reality has fully set in.

I am no longer concerned with people looking at my vagina. Honestly, who even says that other than women with children or women with IF... or ladies of questionable employment.

So, universe, I'm ready.


All the things pregnant ladies complain about - I've been there... but without the payoff.

That's jacked up, universe. You're a bitch.